What Does The Bible Say About Shame? (and how to overcome shame)

Shame plays a powerful role in our lives. Whether we want to admit it or not, many of us are bound by shame. It controls our lives, dictates our actions, and dominates our thoughts.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. Shame doesn’t have to control our lives and hijack our stories. There’s a better way, a better path, a better story. Shame doesn’t have to rule us. God has made a better way.
We will look at how to overcome shame. But before we get there, we need to define some terms and ask the question, “What does the Bible say about shame?”
Defining Shame
There’s a good chance that you and I define the term shame differently. So, before we go any further, we need to get on the same page and clarify how we will be using these terms.
The way I’m going to define shame is a negative influence in our lives. There are no redeeming qualities. It’s a harmful and destructive force.
I know some of you might push back a little on that and argue that there is a benefit to shame. But I believe that that is confusing guilt and shame.
You see, guilt can have benefits. For example, if I steal $100 from a friend, I should feel guilty. And that guilt should bring me to a place where I confess my wrongs and return the money. Guilt of our wrongdoings, our sin, should bring us to a place of repentance AND restoration. But guilt is only supposed to be temporary.
Shame is fundamentally different. Shame stays with us; it won’t let us go. Shame weighs us down, reminds us of our failures. Shame retells us a story of our failures and mistakes. Shame doesn’t lead us to repentance. It leads us to isolation. You see, guilt, if we let it, will bring us to the cross where we find forgiveness. Shame keeps us in hiding.
Let me say it this way… Guilt is what we feel when we do something bad. Shame is what we feel when we think we are bad.
Shame is destroying many of our lives. Slowly but surely, shame is hijacking our story.
What Does The Bible Say About Shame?
So, what does the Bible say about shame?
Shame makes an early appearance in the Bible, when Adam and Eve eat the fruit in Genesis 3. One minute, everything is perfect, just as God intended. And then sin enters the picture, wielding the weapon of shame that forces them from perfect harmony into isolation So they hide in shame. Shame drives a wedge between their relationships with each other and with God. More on that in a minute.
You can read more about what happened in the Garden and the consequences of sin here: What Is Sin? (why it’s more than missing the mark)
The consequences of shame continue throughout the Bible. Shame brought David to a place where he thought it was better to hide his adultery with murder (2 Samuel 11). Shame forced the woman at the well to withdraw from community. Similarly, the woman who suffered from hemorrhaging for 12 years was bound by the shame of her condition.
Jesus seemed drawn to the people trapped in their shame. He continually sought them out and walked with them, because he knew how powerful and damaging shame can be.
Shame seeks to separate and destroy us. Shame hijacks the story that God wants to tell through his creation.
Curt Thompson in The Soul Of Shame describes shame this way: From the beginning it has been God’s purpose for this world to be one of emerging goodness, beauty, and joy. Evil has wielded shame as a primary weapon to see to it that that world never happens.
We see this play out time and time again in the Bible.
Let’s shift to what shame does and then how to overcome shame.
What Shame Does
I think we often view shame as a consequence of the fall. But I think it’s less of a consequence and more of a weapon that is used against us. And an effective one at that.
Here’s what shame does.
Shame Keeps Us From God
Shame’s power is in its ability to isolate us. It isolates us from others and from God. It’s been that way from the very beginning in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve sinned, and shame was used as a weapon to change the story God had intended to tell. Only moments after sin entered the picture, shame separated them. Shame caused them to hide from God and blame each other. Shame brings isolation from our Creator.
The very person that has the power to bring healing is who shame keeps us from. Shame wants us to isolate so that we stay sick. And just like Adam and Eve, we often find our shame keeps us from God. Shame keeps us from being known by God.
Shame Separates Us From Each Other
The first thing shame did to Adam and Eve was cause them to run from God. The second was to blame each other. How quickly things changed.
Shame separates us from each other. You’ve probably experienced this. Shame often causes us to blame others for our sin. We seek to justify, rationalize, and defer by pointing the finger rather than looking in the mirror. Shame tells us to look at their problems rather than addressing our own. In doing so, a wedge is driven into our most important relationships.
Shame Keeps Us Sick
Alcoholics Anonymous has a saying: we are only as sick as the secrets we keep. And that is shame’s primary goal: to keep us sick.
Shame feeds us lies to keep us sick. Shame tells us that if we open up, people will leave us. Shame tells us it will hurt too much to be truly known. Shame tells us our mistakes are too great, that God doesn’t really love us. Shame wants us to remain sick.
But God invites us to step into the light and be known. Will it hurt? Yes. But it’s the only way to find healing.
Shame Hijacks Our Story
Stories are central to who we are. Whether you realize it or not, your life is telling a narrative. And we don’t know how to live without it. Shame knows that and directly attacks our narrative.
Of all the things that set us apart from the rest of creation as humans, one feature stands out: we tell stories. No other creatures we know of tell stories the way we do. Whether we know it or not, and whether we intend to or not, we live our lives telling stories; in fact, we don’t really know how to function and not tell them. From The Soul Of Shame by Curt Thompson
Ultimately, shame hijacks our story. Shame changes our narrative, our life, into something fundamentally different. Shame hijacks the story God intended to tell through our lives and replaces it with a much inferior one. One that brings death instead of life.
How To Overcome Shame
Shame is a weapon wielded by evil to corrupt our relationship with God and hijack the story our life is telling.
So what do we do?
Well, it’s simple really. What I’m about to say won’t be that difficult to understand. But it will be really hard to actually do, which is why many choose to live in shame rather than seek healing. Let’s look at how to overcome shame.
Step Into The Light
The Bible, specifically Jesus, offers us an invitation. It’s an invitation to be loved and to be known. It’s an invitation to a relationship where we don’t have to hide anything, because he already knows everything. It’s an invitation from a God that would rather die than let anything come between us. It’s an invitation to see ourselves as who we really are and exchange our shame-filled story for one that brims with joy.
Jon Bloom says, “The key to breaking the power of pride-fueled shame is the superior power of humility-fueled faith in the work of Christ and the promises of Christ. Shame pronounces us guilty and deficient. Jesus pronounces us guiltless and promises that his grace will be sufficient for us in all our weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9–10). Christ is all (Colossians 3:11). As we trust Jesus as our righteousness (Philippians 3:9) and our provider of everything we need (Philippians 4:19), shame will lose its power over us.”
This invitation requires us to step into the light. We have to acknowledge the darkest parts of our lives, the ones we often simply pretend don’t exist. We have to give them to God. But doing so brings great pain, because those parts of our lives haven’t been exposed to light in some time.
Have you ever come out of a movie theater or some dark building and stepped into the midday sun? It hurts a little bit, doesn’t it? You squint and hide your eyes. It’s a struggle for a few minutes. The light hurts for a time when you’ve been in the dark.
That same principle is true in our lives. Our shame causes us to live in darkness. God invites us to step into the light. And it will hurt.
The key to overcoming our shame is bringing it into the light. To confess it to God, to share it with trusted friends, and to seek guidance from a spiritual mentor. Yeah, it’s going to hurt. It’s going to be uncomfortable. But the joy and the freedom on the other side of that pain is so worth it.
A mother who suffersgoes through the excruciating process of giving birth quickly forgets the pain when she holds her baby. Why? Because the pain she endured pales in comparison the joy and happiness she now experiencesjoy and happiness pales in comparison to the pain she endured.
The That same is true for us. Does it hurt to step into the light?. Oh yeah. It’s painful. But on the other side of that pain is the joy and freedom God intends for us. The pain you experience pales in comparison to the joy you will receive.
Don’t let shame keep you sick any longer. Step into the light. Confess to God. Share with a friend. Seek out a spiritual mentor. You won’t regret it.
Let’s hear from you! What does the Bible say about shame that stood out to you?
There are some interesting arguments here and I will add that it might be easy for people who hasn’t lost their way or faith for people to follow through on what they say. I will agree with you on this. I am writing a story where my character is going through shame and some of what you described sounds like her: hiding and isolation, I was looking for some way for her to get out of her shame. Thank for your insight.
Nobody has mentioned condemnation. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For some it is not good enough that you have come clean and repented and turned to God over and over. They still want to call up the past and burn the label into you so that you will never walk free. Therein is the warfare. There is the choice of whom will you associate. A very difficult choice when you are choosing against family who refuse to allow your freedom in Christ.
Jesus had to choose between those of his family who mocked him and shamed him and the God who called him.
I continually must choose to see myself either through their eyes or through God’s eyes. That is the battle against shame. God Cleanses completely and makes us new. It is hard for humans to allow that. We must choose to believe God and walk in freedom from shame since the past has been repented acknowledged confessed, mourned and grieved and now it must be buried and remain in the ground as the Lord resurrects us into newness of life. This life cannot bring the old with it. In this new life we must Live it according To God’s script. And see ourselves as he sees us. Clean white new free Beloved embraced welcomed accepted honored placed positioned restored to authority As though we had never left. The story of the prodigal son returning home says it all! God is a wonderful father.
I disagree with you on this! When the Love of God is revealed to our sin stained souls, both guilt and shame are brought to bear on our soul, to see His Love and Holiness, His mercy and Kindness, His patient waiting for us is what brings us to repentance and draws us to Him as a grateful recipient of His wonderful Saving grace. The redemptive work on our soul imparts to us the grace and freedom to share with those in our path, often suffering the same guilt and shame as we ourselves felt, the Gospel message of God’s gracious loving mercy and forgiveness. Both guilt and shame have their part to play to help us walk in gratitude, praising our Loving Heavenly Father and in reverential awe of His Holiness, seeking to walk in Holiness with Him.
Amen Wendy!
We are defining shame differently. Shame as I’m defining isn’t taken away at the cross. That’s (again in my defination) is guilt. But I encounter people regularly that even though they’ve been forgiven still expereince shame.
What you described is what I would call guilt, which can has positive elements. But shame is something that is differnet. Again, I think we agree we just are defining things differently.
I hear what you are saying! You have taken what is known as humanism and been deceived. There is a fine line between Truth and twisted truth. Satan uses it all the time, and in this current time we are in a place where even the elect might be deceived if they are not diligently seeking our Father’s face to understand any doctrine. The story we are to tell is to honour of our King, not us, but His mighty power to save and transform us into His likeness.
I can say that I am guilty of sin and have no shame and thus be proud and arrogant and stubborn and not repent or feel any compunction to repent! When I am ashamed I am in a place of accepting my guilt and asking for forgiveness and mercy from my Lord, Who sets me free of my guilt and shame. The consequences of my sin are my are forever with my mind, but that is what will or should keep me from repeating it, and when we take these thoughts again of shame after our redemption, we are to caste them down, or bring them into captivity to the obedience of Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:3-6. Please, before you post anything, place it before The Lord and ask Him to reveal any false thing, that you may not be the cause of someone stumbling. Lift up our Lord and Saviour and His grace, not human thinking on anything.
I assure you, I do not prescribe humanist beliefs.
I am pleased to hear you say that, but remember that The Lord took our shame when we turned to Him for Mercy and we are always tempted to relive our past, but are assured that we never face a temptation without a way of escape through our Lord, the written Word of God, Who guides us through our trials. Our eyes are to be on Him and His will, not ourselves. Our lives are to be transformed by His power, not human thinking. Matthew 16:24-26.
Jeffery, I would encourage you to study Philippians 3:6-9, and Isaiah 43:18.
Are you saying that once we come to Christ our shame, worries, and things we did in the past (or done to us) just go away instantly?
No. What I am saying is that the consequences of the things done in the past we must deal with Biblically, as The Word of God tells us. We are to renew our minds and focus on our Lord and follow Him by the power given us as we submit to His rule in our lives, no more and no less. We are to take up our cross daily and follow our Lord. When we forget about ourselves, die to self, and present our bodies as living sacrifices, He heals our wounds and restores our soul. I know, because He has faithfully restored me. Are you not healed by His wounds? My life, like all who lean on and rely on His love, mercy, and faithfulness, is for His glory, because of His Almighty power to save, heal and restore. I am no longer my own to wallow in self pity, for my past mistakes. When we trust and believe, have faith in His loving kindness, our lives are only full of gratitude and praise.
I believe that Jeffery Curtis is addressing people that have not come into what Wendy is saying. Some of us are still dealing with shame fueled by pride. The reason being that we do not want people to know that we were very sinful. We deceived people into thinking we were good but in actuality were worst than some of the people we condemned. Now that we are in Christ we feel the shame of bringing our past to the light to protect our reputations or positions. We have the fear of giving our full testimony of where God brought us from in fear of what people will say or think about us. Wendy is saying that we should not feel this way when we accept the work of Christ and walk in the truth of being new creations in Christ. Yet Jeffery is saying that unfortunately some are dealing with this kind of shame and it should not be.
The Biblical cure for guilt is knowing who you are in Christ and the power that ‘if we confess our sins God is able to forgive us and cleans us from all unrighteousness’. Guilt is different from conviction. Guilt brings condemnation but conviction brings godly sorrow which leads to repentance. Guilt is what we feel on our own and it is between us and God but shame is the feeling we have about our sins through the eyes of others. And we all agree that we should not fear the consequences of sharing where God has brought us from. Jeffery is saying, that we deal with guilt by confessing to God but we deal with shame by confessing to man. The Bible says ‘confess your sins one to another that you may be healed’.
There is an aspect of shame that is rooted in pride. If your shame has a root in self preservation/image or reputation protection, then their is pride involved because we are supposed to use the truth of our testimonies for the glory of God. For ‘he that is down needs fear nor fall and he that is low no pride’. The cure to this, is to do everything you can to bring it to light, so that the torment of the secrecy of your past will be broken. This requires humility. Accepting you were not good but for God’s saving grace.