Following Jesus = Pain (And Why That’s a Good Thing)

In early 2021, my wife and I were confident God was calling us to plant a church in Colorado. We went through assessments, completed the training, chose a location, and set everything in motion. It felt like the beginning of something special, an adventure God had prepared us for.

I was excited. Hopeful. Expectant. I truly believed we were stepping into a season of fruitfulness. But almost immediately, that excitement gave way to something else entirely.

Anxiety hit me like a freight train. I’d never experienced anything like it before. From the moment I woke up until I went to bed, my mind was filled with worry. Counseling, supplements, prayer, exercise… none of it seemed to help. What I thought would be a mountaintop moment quickly turned into a crushing weight I couldn’t shake.

Then came the move from Virginia to Colorado, and with it came more challenges. Over the next three and a half years, it felt like nothing worked. Plans failed. Dreams unraveled. Doors closed. One thing after another broke down, and I started to break down with it.

I tried to push through. I put my head down and kept going. That’s always been my default in hard seasons. And that works great… until it doesn’t.

Week after week, the pressure mounted. I was discouraged, exhausted, and completely alone. I felt abandoned by God, like I was shouting into the void and getting nothing back. My prayers were met with silence. My efforts met with failure. 

After a few years of this I simply had nothing left. To be honest, I don’t remember a whole lot of this time. But my wife tells me after work I would just sit on the couch and stare. I had nothing left. 

Burned out. Empty. Defeated.

We pulled the plug on the church plant and stepped away; not because we had some next step lined up, but because we didn’t have anything left to give. I figured a couple months of rest would reset things. But those two months turned into a year of wandering, and nothing went the way I hoped.

I wanted to jump back into ministry. I knocked on every door I could find, but they all slammed shut. I was benched, sidelined, stuck in a season I didn’t want and couldn’t escape.

And I didn’t handle it well. 

Like a toddler throwing a tantrum, I kicked, screamed, and complained the whole time. A few times my wife asked me, What do you think God is trying to teach you in this season? And I would respond, I don’t care. I just want to get through it.

I felt like God had forgotten me. Worse, like he was pushing me down while I was already on the ground. I couldn’t see past the pain I was in, it felt meaningless.

But slowly, quietly, something started to shift.

It didn’t happen all at once, but eventually I realized God wasn’t punishing me. He was pruning me. The pain wasn’t pointless. It had purpose. God was doing something deeper than I could see. Something good.

Looking back now, I realize there were parts of me that were dying… ego, pride, fear, the need to be seen and successful. And that death was necessary for new life to begin.

God was being a surgeon, not a sadist. He was cutting away what was broken to bring healing. Not because he was angry, but because he loved me too much to leave me as I was.

What I’ve learned in the time since is that I had parts of me that were decaying. I was in desperate need of a doctor to heal my heart and soul. And because of God’s love for me he put me under the knife. Not to harm me, but to bring in me new life. 

I once thought pain was to be avoided at all cost. Now I can say, if the result of my pain means that I’ll be closer to Jesus. I’m in. 

Following Jesus = Pain (and that’s a good thing) 

You might be wondering, why share all this?

Well… it’s cheaper than therapy. But more than that, I don’t think my story is all that unique. Sure, the circumstances may be different, but I’d bet you’ve been there too. You’ve felt hurt. Abandoned. Alone. Like a failure. You’ve asked God why, why he would allow or even cause such pain.

But here’s the thing: this isn’t just my experience. This is what it means to follow Jesus.

When you read Scripture, it’s everywhere. Almost every person who walks with God walks through pain. Jesus himself made it clear, following him would cost us. He said we’d have to take up our cross, an instrument of death, to be his disciples.

We tend to think pain is bad. Something to avoid at all costs. But what if the pain God leads us through isn’t punishment, it’s preparation? What if he’s using it for something good?

Maybe God’s not a cruel taskmaster watching you suffer from a distance. Maybe he’s a skilled surgeon, cutting away what’s decaying. Maybe he’s a loving Father who wants you to experience real, abundant life but knows you won’t get there without going under the knife.

What if the pain you’re in is actually producing something beautiful? What if it’s drawing you closer to Jesus?

A few years ago, I read a book called Leadership Pain by Samuel Chand. In it, he writes:

Leadership that doesn’t produce pain is either in a short season of unusual blessing or it isn’t really making a difference. So,

Growth = Change
Change = Loss
Loss = Pain

Thus,
Growth = Pain

And while that’s framed as a leadership principle, I don’t think it’s just that.

It’s a faith principle.

Following Jesus = Pain

We understand this truth in every other part of life. Want to lose weight? It’s going to hurt a little. Want to build muscle? You’ll have to tear and rebuild. Want to master something new? That takes discipline and discipline isn’t easy.

Growth always involves pain. And if you want your faith to grow, it’s no different.

God doesn’t lead us into pain to make us suffer. He leads us through pain to bring healing and growth. Because the truth is we’re all sick. We’re all broken. And we’re all in desperate need of a Savior.

So What Do You Do With Pain?

So, what do we do when we are in a painful season? I think it comes down to reframing it. 

If you’re anything like me, you don’t want pain, you want out. But what if God’s not trying to get you out of it as fast as possible? What if he’s doing something in it?

I think we need to flip our perspective on pain from something completely useless to something purposeful. 

Here’s two things I’ve come to learn about pain.

1. Your Pain Is Producing Something 

Michelangelo’s David is considered to be the greatest sculpture in the world. But it didn’t start that way. It took Michelangelo almost three years of daily work to turn a block of marble, previously considered unusable, into this masterpiece. 

Just imagine, every day for three years showing up and sculpting. In a single day he might only get part of a finger nail done. That’s a painfully slow process. 

When asked how he was able to create this masterpiece. He responded by saying: “The sculpture is already complete within the marble block, before I start my work. It is already there, I just have to chisel away the superfluous material.”

David already existed in that previously unusable block of marble. But for the beauty to be revealed everything that wasn’t David had to be removed. 

This is a picture of what God is doing in us. He is shaping and molding us into who he created us to be. That process is going to be painful, but it is producing something. 

He sees the beauty underneath the brokenness. And little by little, day after day, he shapes us into who he created us to be. It’s slow. It’s painful. But it’s producing something.

Right now, you may feel like a useless block of stone. But God hasn’t given up on you. He’s still chiseling. I know it might be painful now,  but I promise it’s going to be worth it.

And here’s the other promise we can hold onto… 

2. God Is With You 

And here’s the good news: God doesn’t stand at a distance while you suffer. He’s with you in it.

He’s not detached or indifferent. He’s not watching from the sidelines. He’s in the fire with you.

Psalm 23:4 says, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.” God doesn’t always take us around the valley, but he promises to walk with us through it.

So don’t go through it alone. When life gets dark and heavy, don’t isolate. Don’t try to muscle through it on your own, I’ve done that, and it never ends well.

Run to God. Press into prayer. Surround yourself with people who will speak truth and hope into your life. Take time to be still. Sit in silence. Let your soul breathe.

The pain might still be there. But so is God. And he’s not done with you yet.

So if you’re in a season of pain, don’t give up. Don’t assume God has abandoned you. He may be doing his deepest work right now, chiseling away what doesn’t belong, shaping something beautiful you can’t yet see.

It’s not easy. It’s not fast. But it is good. God is with you. And he’s not done with you yet.

I used to think that planting a church would be the greatest adventure of my life. And in a way, it was. Just not the kind of adventure I expected.  It turns out the greatest adventure isn’t about building something big. It’s about letting God build something deep.

It wasn’t a story of instant fruitfulness or outward success. It was a story of being broken open. Of pain I didn’t ask for, and growth I didn’t know I needed. But through it all, God was writing something deeper.

And maybe that’s the point. Maybe the greatest adventure isn’t starting something big, it’s being transformed into someone new.

So hold on. Trust the process. Lean into the pain. God’s not done with you yet and the story he’s writing might just change everything.